Maggy S

I promised you some Teddy stories, so here is another one! WARNING: IF YOU DON'T APPRECIATE RUDE HUMOR STOP READING.
We were living in Texas, and we just had a noodle dinner. My mom and I were sitting on the floor with our backs to the couch, reading, so we didn't notice that our furry friend had jumped on to the table and had started eating our uncleared leftovers. We did notice, however, when he jumped on the couch behind us and let one rip that stank so bad we had to go into another room.
Short and Crude humor for ya! Aren't true stories the best?GO TEDDY!

Ok, we left off when Grandma told the guy that his dog was dead (by the way, my headache is much better and I didn't puke thanks for your concern!) and when she told him, she had to give 3 hugs and some condolences. She also learned that:
A) The guy was 35 years old
B) He lived with his girlfriend
C) His parents lived with his sister, but he really wanted them to live with him
D) He really was a musician, but he drove a UPS truck to pay the bills
E) He was drunk (Grandma figured that out, he didn't actually tell her)

By the time her third hug was given and she had learned all about his life, she played the "My-grandchild-is-inside,-I-should-check-up-on-her" card. (Its ok Grandma, you can play it anytime!) I, of course, was wondering what the heck they could be talking about for so long! Thats the story from Grandmas house, and this summer might make a new one (hopefully not like this one!) that you will read about here on my blog. Keep reading!

Trust me- this ones good. Or bad. Depending on your point of veiw. To me, the first part is bad and the second part is funny, but thats up to you to decide.
One average day when I'm at my Grandma's house turns sour. It's because of this weird, nasty, sad chore she made me do- shoveling up a dead-roadkill dog. She found him when she was walking Nathan (this hyperactive wiener dog that I love very much) and couldn't shovel him of the road by herself (she didn't want it to keep getting ran over). What do you do when you can't do something by yourself? Get your attractive (ha! just kidding!) granddaughter to help you. So I found myself helping my Grandma shovel a stiff, dead dog with blood all over it to the side of the road at 8 in the morning when I expected to be eating Lucky Charms and watching TV. Thats the first part, I'll get to the other part next but my head hurts and I feel like I'm going to puke.

I promised you some Teddy stories, and since I have nothing to do (nothing I feel like doing anyway) I decided to write the most famous one. The Setting? Our apartment in Korea (I havne't lived in the states for five years). The Characters? Teddy, Me, Daddy (and Mom and Anna, but they aren't really important). The Plot? Well...
Daddy wanted to surprise us with pizza when we got back to the states, but Teddy had something else in mind... Daddy left for just one minute and returns to find Teddy wolfing down a slice of pizza while the rest of the pizza is either missing or maimed. We (Me, Mom, and Anna) were dissapointed, but I had another emotion coming on, espically when I went to my room.. and discovered pizza sauce under my pillow! Naturally, I screamed "What the Heck?" Daddy came up and started laughing. "Well, I guess we know where the extra pizza vanished off to!" I was flattered in a weird way, something about the dog choosing my bed when another one was closer to the door set it off I guess. Everybody laughed and petted Teddy which is another example of how Teddy is smarter than Ian. My Mom may tell me that Ian is just as smart as Teddy, but Teddy isn't the one who ran into the wall! 

Whenever something happens, be it good or bad, vacation or home, the Self family (Joachim too) tells everybody about it (even if we've already heard the story 5 billion times ;) and I think that the whole world should know! Or at least my friends (Hi guys) You don't have to read it, but I would recommend it. Some of them will be funny, and some of them might be some 'in jokes'. Some might just be stories of the average family on vacation (ah, Hawaii, may our jeep stay forever stuck in your sands (in joke) or of the (bored) average family at home. If you want, email me some of your stories at selfaj@hotmail.com and I'll post them. Keep reading!

Maggy Self